Anthropologie & My Self Worth

I love walking into Anthropologie. I have a system. I walk in, feel everything in the front area (kinesthetic learner, here) while I work my way into the kitchen section. Once there my eyes morph into big red hearts over beautiful dishes, aprons, and cook books. For a minute I pretend I actually like coffee to justify why I need all the little bitty mugs. I imagine what my future house will be like, how I'll fill it with cozy things from here.

It's the whole experience of Anthro.

 Thanks Creative Commons for the visual

Thanks Creative Commons for the visual

The smell, the visual stimulation, the creative inspiration. I mean come on, they make ostriches out of books.

I can't walk in without wanting to better myself. I want to make my home nicer, my wardrobe more unique, attempt cooking extravagant meals in the kitchen, become a better hostess, be more intentional to make everything do reflect that put together woman I just know lives inside of me. Somewhere. So, maybe I haven't found her yet, or seen a sliver of her existence, but I know with a little bit of trying I'll find her. I think.

Anthropologie has the whole package. Except for the fact you can't buy anything without dropping a hundred bucks. Minor flaw.

I go home, I eat processed food, watch Netflix in my goodwill tshirt and sweatpants I got for $6.90 at forever 21, and think about how unreal the expectations I put on myself of being anything like the women depicted in Anthropologie.

I always leave wanting to better myself, and interim leave dissatisfied with who I am. Where is the middle ground? How do you get inspired to be a better person, without hating who you are right now?

While I know I am nowhere near done growing as a person, I really do like who I am right now. I like my little life.

I like that I have great relationships with my dad and siblings, and a growing relationship with the Lord. I like that I get to work part time in a clothing store for the summer, and that it's fun and doesn't feel like work. I like the stellar friends I have, my dog, my itty bitty garden, and the city I live in.

Not that any of the things Anthro inspires me to do are bad things. They're actually really great things. Becoming the best version of yourself is good. Really good. It's when they cause me to look down on who I am in this season of life that they become poison to my self worth.

Maybe someday I'll have a closet full of anthro dresses, and a kitchen stacked with fun dishes.

For right now, I'm really enjoying these forever 21 sweats.

Do you feel the same dissatisfaction when you walk into stores full of expensive beautiful things?  How do you better yourself without putting yourself down? Anyone want to attempt some Anthro DIY's?